Cloth Diapers: Part 2, What Kind?

There are million kinds of cloth diaper. And you can spend a ton of money. This post is going to be extremely opinionated, but this is what I wish I read when I was spending way too much time reading reviews and picking out diapers.

Left section Clockwise starting with the yellow one: Kawaii snaps, Kawaii velcro,  Tots Bots (teal),  Itti Bitti (red stars), Bum Genius (equations), Thirsties Duo Diaper (trees)
Center Top-Down: Prefolds, Kissaluvs fitted (lime green diaper), Microfiber inserts
Right: 6 Flats in cute prints, Econobum cover (white with blue trim), Thirsties Duo Wrap covers (orange and blue)

Honestly, my favorite diapers are the cheapest ones. I love flats. You can fold them up and pin them on like a Fort Knox for newborn blowouts, or you can fold them haphazardly in thirds-ish and slap them in a cover. Since they are one sheet of cloth you can be 100% sure they aren't hiding anything nasty.  You can wash them in whatever detergent you have on hand. They dry in 20 minutes. They have the smallest profile of all cloth diapers. They have a very practical post-baby life as cleaning rags. They are so cheap you can afford to have a million of them and only do laundry when it's convenient. Heck, you could even use some of the three gajillion receiving blankets you received as flats and not buy any at all.

Prefolds are similarly cheap and versatile. However, they also have all of the drawbacks of all-in-one diaper/covers except the high price tag: they take forever to dry, you have to buy special no-additive, no-brightener detergent, they can build up ammonia in the layers and cause rashes. Plus, they still need covers. AND, they give your baby the hugest badonkadonk ever. Seriously. All cloth diapers are much fluffier around the bum than disposables but prefolds are like a whole league of their own. Really they should call them Sir Mixalot Diapers. And when you line dry them they are essential little shingles. Nope, I'd pass on the prefolds.

All-in-Ones, by which I mean diapers that have a waterproof cover already attached (not just the ones known as All-in-ones in cloth lingo). There are a million different kinds. Ones that you stuff with soakers, ones with tongues that flip out in the wash, ones with flaps that you fold down the center, and ones that are just like disposable diapers  except you wash them--you just velcro those suckers on as is. (This last variety is actually called All-in-Ones in cloth diaper stores, fyi). Warning, they all have stupid names. It's usually a combination of a word for butt and a "cute" adjective, i.e. FuzzyBunz, Rumparooz, Bum Genius are all real brands.

 It's nice to have a couple of these on hand for days  when your baby is especially squirmy or your running errands, etc.However they are not worth it to use all of the time in my opinion. They have all of the drawbacks listed above plus they are super expensive. If you're going to buy some of these just go straight for the real-deal All-in-Ones, and steer clear of "pocket diapers" which I hate because you've got to pull out the wet soakers before you can toss it in the laundry. *eww* Here's a brief review of the brands I've tried.

• Kawaii ---a chinese brand which is super cheap, but they are also ridiculously wide. Like humorously wide, a baby horse doesn't even have that much space between its legs. 

•  Thirsties AIO- Super easy, nice fit, but runs small (they've got two sizes and the large size fit Dinobaby okay at 6 months). Also, takes three lifetimes to line-dry 

• Thirsties Duo Diaper-- Nice enough. Same company as above so the same problem, Dinobaby outgrew the size 1's by 8 months.

• Tots Bots--I love these. Unfortunately they're also the most expensive cloth diaper I've ever seen. 

• Itti Bitti D'lish-- (I told you cloth diapers had stupid names) Complete waste of money. 1) they run super tiny so they only fit Dinobaby for a week, I'm not kidding. 2. They leaked. I've never had a cloth diaper leak other than this one (well, unless I did something stupid, like didn't have the waterproof cover covering the whole diaper) 3. The snaps were particularly hard to close. BUT, the super fuzzy, stars print was really adorable. 

• Bum Genius Freetime--pretty good. The flaps make it dry faster but also make it harder to put on super willful, mobile babies. The science equations print though, is really what makes me love this diaper. 

             Note: Although some people may try to convince you that sized diapers fit better, it's not really appreciable. Just buy the one-size 10lbs to potty training diapers.

Covers: If you go the flats route (which I strongly suggest you do), you'll need waterproof covers. Please don't put your baby in rubber pants. I like the one-size kind (see note above) with velcro. Snaps may last longer, but it's not worth it to try to wrangle around a mobile infant only to realize you put it on the wrong snap and the covers not on tight enough. I really like Flip brand. I'd pass on Econobum even though they're cheaper. It does the job, but feels much flimsier and doesn't fit as nice or go on as easily. Thirsties also has nice covers but they don't have a real one-size cover so you'll have to buy two different covers instead of one of the Flip kind.

Hybrids: These are cloth diapers with disposable liners. Seems like the best of both worlds, except for it's completely not. Don't do this. Mostly because each insert is at least 40 cents making it the most expensive disposable ever.

You can buy diapers on Amazon, Cotton Babies (free shipping), Kelly's Closet (which gave me both Kawaii diapers for free), and Diaper Junction

Cloth Diapers: Part 1

I know you're thinking, "Whoa there. Part 1?...They're diapers. How much is there to say?" And yeah, you're kinda right. But you're also way wrong. Although, I am kinda flabbergasted that multiple blogs exist that can somehow dream of new material regularly.

Cloth diapers are awesome. Really. You should try them if you own your own washing machine, and maybe even if you don't, depending on how expensive the laundromat is. I see disposable diapers like paper plates. There's a time for paper plates--in times of extraordinary busy-ness, sickness, or travel. I have no problem using paper plates every so often, but using paper plates everyday is wasteful. They're also not as nice as real plates. Likewise, disposable diapers make a lot of trash--like 7.58 billion pounds a year. And, in my own experience the few times Dinobaby has gotten diaper rashes, he got them during periods when he was wearing disposables exclusively. Also, I think he likes the cloth diapers better. I say that because no woman has ever worn pads when she didn't have to because she preferred how they felt. I assume the difference between a disposable and cloth is similar.

Even if you couldn't ever use cloth full-time, maybe just on the weekends or a use a couple of cloth diapers instead of disposables every day. It adds up. Small changes can really make a difference. And they are so much easier than you think they are.

Here's the run-down of answers to the questions I hear most often:

1) Aren't you scared you'll prick your baby?
       You don't have to use pins. I used a thing called a Snappi to secure diapers when blowouts were still likely, but now I don't even do that anymore.

2)What do you do with the poops?
        I exclusively breastfed for the first 6ish months, so all dirty diapers regardless of what variety just got thrown in the washing machine--yay for the polarity of water molecules! Since I waited so long to start solids, once I had to worry about what to do with poops they were quite easily ploppable into the toilet. Even when dinobaby is using disposables, I still flush poop. I don't throw poop in the trash. One, that's ridiculously smelly. Two, that's not a wise long-term choice for our landfills (and technically illegal almost everywhere). So for me the difference between disposable and cloth is negligible.
        Since I've started trying to get dinobaby to a pottty when I know he's having a BM, I can tell you that cleaning diapers is twice as easy and  less gross than cleaning potties--which all parents have to deal with anyway.

3)How often do you have to do laundry?
      I do diaper laundry every 3-4 days.

4)How do you wash them?
      I do a cold rinse to rid the diapers of urine and whatever residue is left. Then I do an extra hot, extra long wash with soap. I usually line dry, and when it's nice outside I line dry in full-sun. So, at least pseudo-frequently my diapers get UV autoclaved. Other than the heat from the wash and sun-bleaching, I don't worry about germs. I figure most parents wash a couple of diapers worth of poop just from having a newborn wearing clothing. Generations of babies have survived being cloth diapered, most with nappies washed by hand (so glad I live in the 21st century), so I'm not that worried about it. *shrugs*

5)Don't you ever use disposables?
     Yes, I use disposables. Dinobaby still doesn't sleep through the night. I don't want to change him after his 2 and/or 5am feeding because both he and I want to return to sleeping. Unfortunately, no cloth diaper can hold that much pee. So Dinobaby sleeps in a disposable for now. Hopefully, he starts to sleep through the night soon for many reasons---way down on that list is that that would mean we could use cloth at night. I also use disposables when other people are watching my baby, or I'm traveling. Like when we drove across eight states to our new home, I definitely did not haul along my cloth diapers.

6)The cloth diapers I've seen are so expensive. Do they really save you money?
      Holy crap you're right.  Some cloth diapers are stupidly expensive. I've seen figures thrown around about savings, but I don't particularly like any of them because they all make really bad assumptions--like who spends 24 cents per disposable diaper?!? Who buys a $28 dollar bum cover? So I've been collecting my own data (like I've tallied every cloth diaper I've ever changed...I'm a nerd) and I'll get back to this question later more definitively. In the meantime, suffice it to say that I have spent $226.46 on cloth diapers, and so far they've saved us almost $90--but you could easily save much more over the course of 10 months than we have. For one thing, we had coin-operated laundry for four months. I have also traveled quite a bit in Dinobaby's short life.  I also very much regret spending so much in the initial outlay because I ended up like the cheapest diapers best, but I'll get into that in Part 2.

I Want to be a Homemaker

Moms are awesome. All kinds of moms. Love your kids more than you love sleeping? Yep, you're awesome.

Young Housewife by Alexey Tyranov--
Oh, that we could all rock a lady turban.

Okay. I want to be a stay at home mom. I'm not harshing on whatever kind of mom you want to be. I'm not going to say that I know better than you do about what you and God feel is right for your life --because that is crazy.  I'm just supportive of staying home when it works for you. And, being a stay-at-home, although I know that there are millions of women like me, I still feel a little...defensive about it. So there you go, no matter what kind of mom you are, you think--at least some of the time--that other people are judging you and finding your choices wanting. 

I am not a 1950's housewife. If anything I'm a 1750's housewife...or at least I'm working towards it. Let me give you a history lesson about "traditional" female responsibilities. Women were expected to feed their families. Men paid the rent, taxes, tuition, and sundry supply bills--whatever they needed cash for. Men farmed market crops, but women tended the family garden and animals. Women grew the carrots and celery, tended and butchered the chickens, hauled the water, and cooked the soup it all went in. They were expected to teach the basics of reading and math to their children, young boys and girls (because good Puritans believed that women should be able to read the bible for themselves).  They knew and prepared herbal remedies (of questionable potency, but it was almost the best medical knowledge available at the time) to combat the zillion ailments that attacked their children. Women of any kind of status were extremely well read in the classics--like knew on sight who people like Lysander, Calliope, Hygeia, etc. were and made allusions to them in their day-to-day lives (well, their letters anyway).  

So please, let's stop talking about how "limited" the traditional women's sphere is. I mean really let's keep reading past verse 10 please when someone brings up Proverbs 31: "An excellent wife her price is far above rubies... she works with eager hands. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously;   her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."

The combination of 1950's consumerism and pedantic feminists (the bad kind) have eroded the awesome that is real homemaking-- describing a completely fabricated "traditional" woman.  Staying at home can be so much more than providing daycare. It's not being harried by small children during the day and then self-medicating on romance novels at night. Staying home can change the world. Really. Not in the "neck that turns the head" kind of change the world. I'm not saying that I'll raise the kind of boy that will change the world *eye roll*. I'm saying that a million women who take time to mend instead of toss, to make your own home and happiness instead of purchasing someone else's marketing genius, and to read deeply and teach their kids in the everyday moments of life--to be informed for your own self. And a million other tiny habits that staying home to make a home affords--that can change the world. 

Abigail Adams was a boss.

Because this isn't 1750. We are just as capable but we've got the vote. We have college degrees. We've got microwaves. Seriously, think about what Abigail Adams could've done with a microwave and an oven that preheats itself.  

She would change the world. 

New Moms, It's okay. I know you don't know.

Maybe not for everyone but at least for me, being a mom is constantly feeling like saying "I don't know what I'm doing." It's feeling a bit like an actor. It's improv-ing your way through your day. Did I need to cut those peas in half? Does he need a sweater? Wait, is he hot? Crap, he's not wearing socks. 

When I walk around the grocery store and people smile at my baby I still feel awkward. Sometimes I'm thinking, "I know. I look like I know what I'm doing loading up graham crackers in my cart, but you have no idea. I can't get my baby to nap for more than 20 minutes on his own." Which is odd, because who said that how your baby sleeps is a defining characteristic of how good a parent you are? Oh right, Healthy Sleep Habits did. Like somehow you failing to have your baby always sleep in the crib by himself is the same as handing him a knife and putting on a blindfold. (I know everyone loves that book. And yes, it did help me figure out when a good bedtime was and some other good tips. But it also seeded my head with bone-crushing doubt about what my baby should be and definitely wasn't. ) I don't know why my baby's napping (but not night-time sleeping) body knows that I've left his side and immediately wakes up. Maybe I held him too much when he was new. But that's exactly what I'm talking about: New moms have no idea what we're doing.  And yeah, I held my baby all the time for the first four months. Like the majority of the day. And I actually think that's okay.

When it comes down to it, I think I'm a good mom. I love the snot out of my baby. I try not to get too hung up on what's not working so that I actually enjoy him. And I read a lot. I read stupid parenting community forums and PubMed papers on food allergies. I follow Montessori in the home blogs, and ask my pediatrician an obnoxious amount of questions. I desperately want to be good at this, but no one know exactly what that looks like. I'm seat of my pantsing my way through this and really, I think that is perfectly alright. And as time passes, my baby is just getting awesomer, so I'm obviously not doing anything too detrimental. 

So now that I've put the horse in front of the cart. The first three weeks after getting home from the hospital: 

They were terrifying. I was scared to give dinobaby a bath. I had no idea when he was hungry. I was so hyper-aware of his breathing that I had to move him out of my room in order to sleep.  I was magically just shy of 3 lbs skinnier than my full-term pregnant self, and definitely still rocked the maternity clothes for...a while... after I was most assuredly post-partum.  

So if I could give any pregnant lady some advice it would be this:

• Having your mom live with you for the first few weeks will save your life.  
• Because your baby will cry inconsolably sometime and either A) her Grandma Magic will calm the hysterical infant or B)she won't be able to make him stop crying but she will be able to pronounce with reassuring expertise that you are not killing your baby. 
• No baby, regardless of how new needs to eat every 40 minutes
• It's probably closer to 2 hours. So if he's still crying it's something else. I'm going to vote for tired because babies sleep way more than you think should be possible....Like 3 hours of being awake is like pulling an all-nighter for your baby. 
• Also, you are 100% validated by me, Dinolady, for refusing to be a pacifier. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you a good mom, because when your baby actually needs milk from you, you won't be so sharp-aching-pain sore that you can't feed him. 
• Do the minimum requirement for sleep
• I'm not going to prescribe to you what that is because your baby is different than every baby that has ever been born. I'm just suggesting that your baby probably doesn't need to sleep on your lap...at least not every night. So don't just assume because he needed it the night before that he'll need it again. Just put him in the crib and cross your fingers. 
• Your baby went through some really impressive physical stuff to be born, so you're not gonna hurt him when you change his clothes
• Same goes for burping. You're not accomplishing anything by wafting at your baby's back. You've got to thump those bubbles out, friend
• You are super awesome and capable. 
• Seriously. You're body is making stuff to feed your baby. And your body made that baby. Literally every calorie that small body has ever used has come from you. So you are already really awesome. Even though you feel like you were significantly more attractive during those awkward middle school years than you do now. You are amazing. Your body is AMAZING. And you'll figure it out. There are no good guides to baby-rearing because your baby is also amazing and uniquely so. So maybe your baby only wants one arm swaddled but not the other. Maybe he likes the jiggle-bounce, but not the bounce-jiggle. 
• Just keep your head above water, and it really does get better. Your baby will figure out how to eat food with out spitting it up all over you and how sleep on his own. And then one day you'll be holding him on your lap and he will all out hug your arm in an unsolicited show of pre-verbal affection, and smile at you with adoring eyes. You're doing just fine. 

And expectant dads:

• No woman ever needs to be woken up because the baby is crying
• She has bionic hearing. She could hear the baby crying from Argentina. But she hasn't gotten up because she's saying a blasphemous prayer to your baby in her head. It goes something like this "Please just fall back asleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. You're not hungry. Please. " So Awesome Dad, I want you to get out of bed. Pick up hysterical baby that still makes you mildly uncomfortable to hold because he's so tiny and you don't want to hurt him. Flail your arm around in the bassinet until you bump into the  pacifier and put it in the crying opening. Then do the jiggle dance and "shush" like you're trying to lift-off. (Literally, shush as loudly as possible). Give it five minutes.  You can do it. If the baby is still freaking out, hand him lovingly to your wife to feed and kiss her on the forehead. But your wife has probably already gotten out of bed at that point anyway.
• I know you're thinking that what difference does it make if the baby is hungry and there's nothing you can do. But, the baby isn't always hungry. And your wife will love it. 
• You are super awesome and capable. 
• Did you know that your masculine body chemistry changes the more time you spend with a baby? Your hormones are colluding to make you into a better caregiver. So don't stress. You'll get better at it, and you're already better than you think you are. 

At what age, or ever, did you feel like you knew what you were doing with your kids? Anything you wish you knew before you had kids? 

What scares you most about having a baby? 

10 Months

Still cute

Double digits, Wow!

Fine Motor: Every baby has their own growth curves--some speak before others, etc. But Holy cow, Leopleuradon is super good at the small hand motions. He now feeds himself 70% of the time and can handily manage slippery banana chunks, tiny wet kernels of corn, and odd shaped spiruli pasta pieces.

 He can separate lego blocks, and remove a dowel from a tube as well as a wooden egg from a cup. He tries but can't get the blocks together or put the pieces back in to their slots yet. He also gets a kick out of pushing and pulling doors open. Since we live in an old, not-level house, all of the doors hang slightly ajar at the bottom. Leo is impressively good at pulling on the exposed milimeter of door to swing the door out. He also palms things now, which is really cute.

He is often very cat-like in how be plays. He swats at everything, laundry I'm folding, lampshades, toilet paper rolls. Here's a video of the last one. Yep, I know. So stinkin' cute!

Gross Motor: Dinobaby crawls like an ace. However, he also crawls super weirdly. He keeps both feet off of the floor somehow and shakes his booty as he books it across the room. He also creeps/cruises along the sofa, along the wall, from the top of the side-table to a set of drawers. Pretty awesome. He stands for almost 30 seconds unsupported but only when he's distracted. He immediately squats when he realizes he's not holding on to anything. He's also learning how to fall, and is more or less successful.

Standing still at the playground has never been more fascinating 

Language: Leo can sign "more" and "all done" but not consistently. He talks to himself now (cute) and sings (super cute). Albeit, "singing" is probably just really high pitched cooing but whatever.  He also makes happy growls in the morning when we've put him bed with us after he wakes up trying to get us to open our eyes and play with him. Here's Leo talking to himself as he plays with an empty salt shaker.

Oh, I forgot to mention--there are FOUR TEETH coming in on top, so yeah, he's super drool-y. 

Food: Man, the kid really likes food. And he eats almost everything now. Oh, right, and he can drink from his own glass now! However, that also means you have to change his shirt when he's done, so I usually help him still.  So yeah, video #3--Dinobaby drinking all on his own

Size: Just in case y'all are curious he's 58% in height and 74% in weight. He wears 12 month clothes.

Although I wrote many of the posts I said I would last month, I didn't get to all of them. So I shall refrain from promises of posts this time around.

And, I'm sorry this is a little past due, but hey there was the last Wheel of Time book to read. ;)