Brown Eyes and Halloween pics

For everyone that's curious, I think Dinobaby has finally settled on an eye color, and it's brown like his mama. 

Leopleuradon was also universally loved at Chipotle's this evening. 

Don't you agree with them?

Changeling

I don't see dinobaby as a infant anymore. When you compare him now to how he was when he was born, he's a completely different person. He used to be floppy and helpless, and now he's so strong.

Did you know that newborns can swallow and breathe at the same time? Crazy huh. But dinobaby is losing the ability, his larynx is descending. Which is a good thing because now he can actually use his voicebox, but as a downside-- he sputters a lot while eating or drinking because things can now go down the wrong pipe. But Leopleuradon is a happy kid, he even smiles after a coughing up water.

Leopleuradon still isn't crawling yet, but he's getting closer everyday. He's rocking on his knees now, so it's only a matter of time. He's also trying to pull up. If we help him initially get his bum off the floor he can pull himself to standing if he's holding on to a chair. And then he'll practice doing squats, as if he can't decide whether he wants to sit down or not. That's what he spent all of sunday school doing: pumping his legs up and down, until I helped him sit and then he'd cry for me to help him stand again. Gotta love it.

Voting: 92 years as a Domestic task

I voted as a mother today. I spent time to look up every name on the ballot before I arrived, and with dinobaby strapped to my back I filled in my little bubbles. Informed voting is one of the most important domestic adventures. Here's to 92 years of women having a voice in the political conversation. 

"Well Done, sister suffragettes!" and God Bless America 

Strangers

So dinobaby, like all babies, is nearly universally loved. Complete strangers come up to me and ask me how old he is, how he's sleeping, what foods he's eating. As I sat in the waiting room today, I looked around as everyone else remained compartmentalized, disconnected. No one tried to strike up a conversation with anyone else, just the two women with babies, me and another lady. But through us, they were able to connect with each other.

Loving people comes naturally to babies

Babies are the ultimate social barrier defeater. Really. A middle-aged man in stained clothing waved at me in the grocery store with my baby in my cart, and I was a little wary but I waved back. Something I would never, ever do if I was alone. And in the strange world of 7 month olds, dinobaby smiles at who he wants to: woman in nice Anne Taylor Loft duds: scary---large man in a tank top: hi, want to play peekaboo. Leopleuradon teaches me to reassess my standard approach to people. I'm not saying that dinobaby was right to fear the woman, but perhaps he wasn't wrong to smile at the man who seemed threatening to me.

Being with Leopleuradon is like living in December everyday. I think more charitably of my fellow man, and my fellow man looks more charitably on me. A homeless man opened the door for us when I left the library. Someone I had previously marked mentally as a threat and  had decided to exit by the other side, stood up and  held  the door open for dinobaby and me. The world is a better place because of babies.

Let there be peace on Earth.

P.S. Every stranger says about the same thing to Leo, "He's a healthy-looking baby, doesn't miss any meals does he."  He's 73rd percentile for weight, so I guess they've got a point. Still sounds like a euphemism for fat to me, but in my developing sense of grace for all mankind, I realize they only mean well. *wink*

Babbling: Language Acquisition

So dinobaby has been making noises for a long time, but he's really playing with his voice now. Babbling begins in children anywhere between 5-7 months, and usually children produce b, m, d, k, w, j, g, etc.

Leopleuradon likes "v", which is unusual. He also mixes vowels when he babbles which also unusual, e.g. "a-boo-ba", not "aba-ba."

Here's dinobaby being characteristically awesome:

I'm crediting his grandmothers. Both studied education, and it shows.  When either of them is with Leo he is constantly being talked to. Watching them read books to him is like seeing a video recording of my child development textbooks. They point out colors and animals, count items on the page, raise and lower their voices as they read, and elongate and emphasize their words. And, they do that all the time, every time they're around dinobaby.

I know academically that this is fantastic for his language development, but for whatever reason I have the hardest time talking to my child when it's just the two of us. It's not that I have a problem looking like a fool to do something that's good for my baby, but it's like my brain won't cooperate with me. It just sits there, instead of thinking of what to say, it just reminds me that I look like an idiot. I end up just repeating the last word of my sentence twice and smiling. "Look baby, do you hear the bird...bird" (fifteen minutes of silence) "...bird, bird."

So now not only do I sound ridiculous, it's basically for no purpose at all.

Just got to keep trying I guess.

How do you come up with things to say in your one-sided conversations?

Montessori: more than snoody private schools

So the vast majority of people I know only know about Montessori as a type of school, usually private and very expensive. A more broad way to define Montessori, and probably more accurate, is to explain it as trying to emulate the philosophy of Maria Montessori, the turn of the century education reformer. Which is a very broad definition, which means different things to different people.

But to me, when I say I want to be a parent based off of Montessori principles I mean that to the greatest of my ability I will try to observe and follow the child. Leopleuradon will follow the same general milestones as every other child--the same "ages and stages" (which is how they refer to it in child development)--but he is also unlike every other child on the planet. He has a unique combination of interests and abilities, and I will try to meet the individual set of desires that accompany those. 

Which in action most people sum up as "teach me to do it myself."  For instance, Leopleuradon has a fascination with cups. He loves them and will give it his best, herculean efforts to get the rim in his mouth. While most kids wean from bottles to sippy cups, I'm giving Leo a glass. Because he wants it. It's what he knows and is interested in. He wants what Mom's got--not really the juice inside of it. 

look at that satisfied face

But obviously, a 7 month old can't handle a cup. By only paying attention to his interests, I set him up for failure. So I also have to acknowledge his abilities. Leo has a little votive holder. Which he can bring to his mouth, but he can't drink from it yet independently. At first I just tipped it into his mouth and the juice went straight down his chin. Then he drank half, spilled half. Now, he still can't drink independently but I tip the glass and he usually steadies it with one hand, and most of the juice is swallowed--although he still spills quite a bit down his front. After I have a turn, I give him a turn to try to do it by himself. And slowly, he's getting the hang of it. (My apologies for the misleading pictures in this post)

Almost there

it's hard to get it right

Montessori also means respecting the child, according them the human dignity they deserve. So,  I try (but often forget)  to tell Leo what I'm doing to him, rather than treating him like doll. "We're changing your clothes-- First we pull it over your head. Can you push your right arm through the hole? Now your left arm-- push, push, push." 

Obviously, dinobaby doesn't actually conscientiously push his arm through the sleeve yet. But, babies understand language far sooner than they can reproduce it themselves, and he's gaining the muscle coordination to straighten his arm on command. If I never give him the opportunity to help take care of himself, I'll never know when he's capable of doing so. And I want to give him that opportunity to help him and me discover the amazing, talented, important person that he is. 

Now Montessori also stressed the importance of child-size furniture that they could climb in and out of by themselves, preferably made with natural materials. In a perfect world, I'd have a beautiful low table and tiny chair made from solid wood, but we really can't afford that. So these are pictures of dinobaby in our free, hand-me-down high chair. Just because you can't do everything perfectly, doesn't mean you should give up on the attempt. :P

Here's an example of someone that can do it perfectly (or seems to): A video of a 6 month old drinking independently.

The Bird Room

So I made these birds almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant. And then they sat unloved and forgotten for nearly a year. I finally got around to hot-gluing them on a branch and hanging them from the ceiling in Leopleurodon's room. I'm digging the shadows they cast around the room. 

I've also been uncharacteristically domestic lately so there will be more updates on Leo's awesome room. I decided to go with a multi-colored bird theme. Here are a few sneak-peeks. 

7 Months

at the park

Man, that was a fast month. Here's a quick rundown of Leopleurodon's development

Gross Motor: Sits unsupported! Still not crawling, but he's a world-class turner and scoocher. He can rotate in a complete circle and can travel several inches very slowly in hot pursuit of a just barely out of reach toy. He also knows that he can push off with his feet to cross greater distances, but only off of the couch or parent hands--can't quite get the foot coordination to get his toes against the floor. And can now flip from belly to back, whoot! 

Sitting all by himself! (...don't judge me, the fitted sheet is too small ;)

Also, within the last few days he has reached a new milestone of arm waving. He now pats/bangs with gusto anything with in his arm's reach--his body, the table, my face. He actually uses his rattles to make noise now, not just to gnaw on.


 Fine Motor: Leo two months ahead of schedule is an ace at the pincer grasp--however he hasn't master the release. He can't seem to let go. Hand dominance is still ambiguous, but I still think he is more coordinated with his right. 

Cognitive: Object Permanence is here with a vengeance. Leo flinches and giggles the first time he sees the tickle monster hand, even if its been several days since we played the game. When he's naked and I say bathtime, he smiles and whole-body lunges towards the bathroom. And although I'm not completely sure, I'd bet money he responds to his name. 

Social: Oh my heck, melt my little heart--Leo giggles when we laugh--meaning he laughs back, even when we're not doing anything funny or even looking at him. He also loves to play games: peek-a-boo, drop the blanket on my head (which is exactly what it sounds like), and a new favorite, let me slap your hand, wherein Leo will bang his hand against your outstretched hand to make a clapping noise.  Also, stranger anxiety has also emerged. He's fickle about who he likes-- animated women are still usually cool, especially if they sound ridiculous.  Reserved, friendly waving apparently looks like you're a demon from Hades because Leo will respond by crying real tears, and won't stop trying to climb into my face for at least ten minutes. 

Also, Leo loves his daddy. Good gracious, it's like heaven's light beaming from his face. 

...more on this later

chewing

Food: Leo can put it away. He really likes to eat. His favorite food is mashed sweet potatoes, but he is also a fan of peaches, peas, oatmeal, rice puffs, and dehydrated banana/ apple chunks. He's sort of meh about applesauce unless its the sweetened kind, or I've mixed in cinnammon. Mashed banana gives him a sort of uncomfortable look but he'll eat it. Avocados and green beans are refused. He's also a good little gummer (proto-chewing if you will) but has a hard time navigating chunks around his mouth and often pushes the rice O's out of his mouth. 


      

Spoke too soon

Dear 20 minute naps,

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Plesiosaur


Hey guru moms, what's the secret? Do I just let him wail in there after waking up? He goes down pretty well,  mostly asleep but a tinsy bit awake. And usually he wakes up too early screaming because he's tired, twenty to thirty minutes later.  What's the deal?

Broiled Orange Chicken: A horror story

So I bought a whole chicken. Perhaps an act of culinary hubris. But I had just had a conversation with my vegetarian friend about "responsible meat-consumption" and really buying whole chicken is the only sorta-kinda-maybe affordable option for happy animal meat.

When I got home I mildly regretted it.  A little bit because it was slightly more expensive than my usual super cheap bulk-bought chicken thighs and who knows what "free-range" on the package really means, but mostly because I've never actually cooked a whole bird before. So I asked Alton Brown.

Apparently, feeding my family is a gruesome business.

 I cut out the poor fowl's spine.

Ripped out her keel bone, and splayed her open.

Then to add insult to injury I loosened the skin and put in a mix of orange zest (because I didn't have lemons), garlic, and cracked pepper.

I then placed the chicken under a red-hot broiler until its skin turned mahogany, flipped her over and roasted her innards (about half-hour total).

The end result was beautiful, juicy, and tasty.... and the breasts were underdone. So I put those in the microwave to finish cooking--just keepin it real.

The leftovers made a rocking addition to salad.

Bottom-line, one, it's a little persnickety and while delicious not fantastically so. Two, it's like four times the amount of meat per person than I'm used to eating--maybe defeating the purpose of happy meat...

But, now I can try my hand at making chicken stock, and it really was much than normal chicken breast which is usually dry and gross (maybe that's just me).

What's the most ambitious meal you've ever served? Most labor-intensive?

And how did it turn out?

Dinobaby's No-Epidural Birth

So there's a lot of talk about natural birth and epidurals. I had dinobaby without an epidural. It was awesome and it was rough. Would I do it again? Yes. Will I do it again? ...I dunno. 

Here's an excerpt from an email I wrote while the experience was still fresh:

"The actual labor was completely different than I expected, which surprised me because I had asked a lot of people about their experience and had read a lot. I guess it's just one of those things you can't really understand through someone else's perspective. 

I was induced around 2:45pm and he was born 6 hours later--so relatively short. I didn't have an epidural, but I really don't know how I feel about it. When we have another child, I don't know whether I'll try to go natural again [...] since I have no frame of reference, the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction is probably the same bringing a child into the world in whatever way it happens. While the pain was rather intense, in itself it wasn't all that overwhelming. What I didn't expect was that labor was a much more mental trial rather than a physical one. While I feel like I've given more physically in my life, it was by far the most mentally exhausting thing I've ever done. It was a really unique experience where I knew exactly what I sacrificing for. The majority of the time the contractions just happened to me and you ignore the pain and focus on something else. But during pushing, the last few contractions, I was choosing to escalate how much it hurt in order to get him here, which was a really difficult choice for me to make so deliberately."

Isn't my sister gorgeous?
(also notice how my husband looks like he hasn't slept at all, he didn't)

I've also had a lot of friends ask me about different pain management techniques so here's my run down.

Hypnobabies--maybe it'll work for you. Did it work for me? No. I totally buy into the concept that your brain is amazingly powerful, and your perceptions really do change the way you experience things. However, Hypnobabies didn't do that for me. It's really goofy. Like, everything gets the prefix "hypno" kind of goofy. "Your hypno-birthing experience" "hypno-partner" "hypno-anesthesia" And the general tone was anti-doctor, like as soon as you get to the hospital you're supposed to put up signs that essentially say "take your medical training and experience and shove it you-know-where, because in this room the pregnant lady is bringing her child into this world with unicorns and rainbows and won't be needing any of your help." Hypnobabies also told you that there would be no pain, just extreme pressure. ...which really just reminds me of getting shots at the dentist. "You'll feel some pressure as this piece of steel punctures your gums" 

Yay midwives!

Midwives-- Oh my heck, I love them. Let me say that again. I LOVED my midwives, and the particular midwife that helped me deliver-- double helpings of love. Because what you really need is no-nonsense  encouragement. She knew when and where to push to relieve the pain. She didn't get too poetic or artsy. She just got the job done. And, no it wasn't just the moral support, because I had about one hundred people in the hospital room with me (okay, maybe just four) and they were very loving and supportive. However when my midwife finally arrived it was like being handed a life-preserver in the middle of a stormy ocean. Midwives are the bomb. I never want to have a baby without one. 

Hospitals-- I don't really get the angst here. Granted, I've heard some pretty lousy stories from my close family so I know that hospitals aren't always super awesome to laboring ladies. However, mine was awesome. No one rolled their eyes when I said I was going natural. Nor did they say "I told you so" when I asked for the anesthesiologist in the black moments of transition while my midwife was delivering another baby. And when I told them I didn't actually need the epidural afterall, they were fine with that too. The staff was very nice, very supportive. The one tiny drawback of the hospital was that I was dying of thirst and I really, really, really wanted some juice and they wouldn't let me (just in case of C-sections, they don't want you having junk in your stomach when they put you under).  The cost was exorbitant...but that's the broken medical system for you.  

Meditation--...if I was going to go the natural route again, I would definitely look into meditation. Because like I said in the email, the pain is all a mind game. And unlike hypnobabies, we're all different  and imagining some mystical wave of pain-relief wasn't my thing. More of my thing was thinking about how divine my body was, and that the pain wasn't an indication of harm. I've heard good things about listening to a few instrumental pieces of music with lots of ascending and descending lines, and using your knowledge of the music to give you momentum through contractions (that was advice from a piano performance major though, so who knows)

Bottom-line if you're pregnant and you've stumbled across this page, do whatever you want. No one's the same. We all start out in labor at different stages of readiness--physically and mentally. Did I mention I was induced? Right. 

So really, don't sweat it. Get the epidural if you want to, and don't if you don't.  

Oh and by the way. 

When you think you're done, you're not. All you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep, but you can't. There's stitches. They'll check your vital signs, and they'll make you pee, not to mention the utter weirdness of nursing for the first time. Just expect it. It was four more hours before I was actually able to close my eyes. (And yes, I did get medication immediately after dinobaby was born. I'm not a masochist. You better believe I was taking Oxycontin and a whale of a dose of ibuprofen regularly around the clock.)

What do you think about epidurals?  Did you like your birth experience? Or do think the very phrase "birth experience" is a little too granola for you?