Tuesday, April 23

1 Year....or something like that

Dinobaby is a year old!!!

Fine Motor: Leopleuradon continues to be a fine motor genius. He can remove wooden puzzle pieces, drop tiny baby spoons into the mouth of a water bottle, and hit the keys on his piano-thing one at a time. He removes tiny nails from a peg board, and can stack these weird block things we got for Christmas. He also spin things between his fingers.


Gross Motor: Dinobaby is sometimes so coordinated that I can't really believe that he is a product of my athletically challenged body. Like he can climb out of his high chair and stand on the seat (which btw incited sheer terror). He cruises around the house holding on to things with one hand.

He can totally walk by himself, he's taken up to a dozen independent steps. However, he still pretends that he needs to hold my hand. Sometimes he compromises with himself and crawls on two hands, a knee, and a foot. This is hilarious.

Money!
I'm sure this would make a great meme.


His latest development is moving while hoarding. Like he likes to hold on to his tiny toy cars, so he'll army crawl around the living room on his elbows. Also hilarious. He can also hold things over his head without falling over (I bet you never thought about how difficult that is until just now). And can throw things on purpose.

He has a hard time coordinating with himself still, which is perfectly normal. So putting legos together with two hands is much harder for him than stacking one on top of a lego on the floor. And he really wants to use utensils but.... this happens.



Language: "Uh Leee-oh" this is how dinobaby says his name.  He consistently signs more, all done, and bird unprompted (there are a lot of birds around our yard). He responds to his name, plays peek-a-boo when you say the word peek-a-boo, and waves when you say goodbye. Most adorably, he waves at his books when the characters  say goodbye. "Bye, bye dragons." He also waved back from his carseat at a truck driver at a stoplight.

He can blow raspberries and click his tongue in response to raspberries and tongue clicking. And he'll mimic other normal sounds.

Social: He loves playing next to other children and babies. Usually he pats their hair,  which is a foreign concept to dinobaby. He also steals paci's to investigate them for a second and then he'll pop them back in (like I said, super coordinated). He'll point things out to me that are interesting to him. And he's forever telling me about the birds (or squirrels that he calls birds, or even just the fact that a bird is singing somewhere).


Little dude, also really loves music. He even waves his arms in time. I don't even think that's possible, yet I've seen it, so I guess it is. Innate rhythm. Sometimes he does a happy squeal too. Usually at church where there's the greatest number of people to impress with his singing abilities, and it's nice and quiet so they can hear him.

I'm sorry I missed last month. It's been exciting around here, and I just kept forgetting to post anything. I'm 15,000 words in on the crappiest SF/Fantasy book ever (p.s. if you write novels in secret/or in the open, I want a writing group--comment below if you're interested).

I also started writing a blog with my sister.  More of my random thoughts will go on the joint blog, so if you liked those sorts of posts, you should subscribe there.

And if you're wondering what "these weird block things" are:




Sunday, March 17

My Unique Kid

In celebration of my baby living one crazy and crazy awesome year, I thought I'd list some of my favorite quirks.
  • He tugs on his ear when he's trying to get comfortable
  • He really is fantastically happy to see you after you've been away for any stretch of time. This is like all out bliss for daddy, but this also extends to open-my-mouth-as-wide-as-I-can happy when he sees me out of the car window when I go to unstrap him from his carseat after a five minute ride home from the library. 
  • He loves high objects. The clock on the wall, the fan pull-cord, tapping on the monkey bars,  picture frames, whatever he can convince you into lifting him up to. 
  • Really, really likes to eat--especially marshmallows and donuts (which probably says something about my parenting... fyi, he doesn't eat these things often)
  • Loves to bounce
  • Curiosity often beats out fear--for instance he is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, but will pull his head out of daddy's shoulder in bursts to investigate it at the same time.
  • He loves old ladies. And old ladies love him. "Well hello pretty baby" (apparently maturity leads all women to refer to dinobaby as "pretty" which is endearing) to which he responds by babbling happily.
  • When he gets worried after exploring independently for awhile he'll sit up and look around the room for me. When he finds me, he stretches his hand towards me and says something like "adooo." I repeat this back to him as I point at him. He smiles, and then he repeats the process a few times. After a few pointing exchanges he's ready to take on the world again. 
  • He likes to sit in doorways and open and close the door, just for the challenge of it
  • He loves to be swung, wrestled, tossed, rolled, tickled, etc
  • He plays peek-a-boo with the baby gate or his crib by holding onto the top rail and alternating between crouching and standing
These are all of his quirks, but they'll suffice for now. I'll get a new month update soon-ish, but I need to take some more pictures first. 


Sunday, February 17

NPR and Mormonism

I really love NPR. Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me, A Prairie Home Companion, Car Talk, The Diane Reams Show, Science Friday, Radio Lab.  And I love the local flavor of each station. In Utah, the local voice is Doug Fabrizio. Oh, Doug. (I'm on first-name terms with Doug in my head...as I am with all NPR personalities). Doug doesn't like Mormons. Not like Westboro Baptist hate, just a consistent sort of "ugh, why are you the way you are?"

I understand it. Utah has its own culture and quirks, most of which are informed (sometimes poorly) by Mormon doctrine. I think it's legitimately difficult to live in Utah and not identify yourself with the Mormon church. So when I was getting my NPR fix and Doug got a little heavy-handed with his obvious negative feelings about Latter-Day Saints I would just shake my head and say "Oh, Doug" fondly to my radio.  So ingrained is this response that I find myself thinking "Oh, Doug" whenever I read or hear comments about the irrational faith, frustrating "blind obedience," or backward intolerance of Mormons (or religious people generally when combative atheists have the audacity to lump all "Theists" together.)

Recently I've found myself stumbling across all kinds of "Oh, Doug" worthy posts especially written by  people that were raised Mormon and have since sought their spiritual fulfillment somewhere else. Again, I understand.  A crisis of faith is a pretty earth-shattering experience for everyone, but I think its particularly hard for Mormons because our religious life saturates every other aspect of our lives. Knowing how important my church was to my family and my upbringing, if I ever hypothetically left "the church" I would probably feel the need to cry out for support for my decision. I don't want to demean that very real pain and anguish that those people are facing, or antagonize them by commenting on these posts. And from my own experience wrestling with God, I know that a comment wouldn't really help. No one else can give you really satisfying answers because in the end, spirituality is our most personal journey on this Earth.

However, I do think the LDS church is worth defending.

First of all, it is really alright to have doubts. Yeah, it makes your mom nervous, but your mom, however saintly, is not God. It is okay to have doubts. Not everything we believe in ties up neatly in a little box. For instance, the problem of human suffering in light of an omnipotent God, is one of the oldest paradoxes in history.

Secondly, I really loathe the insinuation that the only reason I still have faith in this church is because I haven't thought about it. I am an intelligent individual and I am a Mormon. I love my religion and I love learning about my religion. I have no fears learning about and from other religions and pursuing whatever knowledge there is to be found. If there is anything true, a faithful Mormon should embrace it. I strongly believe that we should be smart about our religion. Ignorance is not pleasing to God. Religion really isn't simple nor is it easy to sum up. We aren't children anymore. It is no longer sufficient to say the golden rule to ourselves and be done. There are meaty, inspiring, troubling, glorious, weighty things to study and decide your own opinion about.

God also doesn't need us to lie for him. The Gospel of Jesus Christ can stand up to scrutiny.  And believing in God isn't easy. There are moral dilemmas inherent in faith. The bible isn't strictly filled with stories that give you warm fuzzies. But, there is beauty in complexity. And, Mormons have a messy history. We believe some pretty controversial and fantastic things. But, there is no dirty secret to Mormonism. I'm not saying I know every detail of every LDS leader back to Joseph Smith. But, I am saying that I am not willfully ignorant. And, I also think that there are completely faithful, believing Mormons that have studied in rigorous detail almost any topic or fact that could bother you. There is an entire floor of Mormon scholars, editors, and researchers that are publishing every scrap of paper that could possibly be attributed to Joseph Smith. There is nothing to be unearthed that is so damning that only an idiot would continue to believe. Conversely, perhaps the central tennent to our faith, other than the divinity of Jesus Christ, is that humanity has the unalienable--even by God, Himself--right to choose. So, I'm really completely alright that the evidence for the validity of the LDS church isn't overwhelming. I believe that this is a church run, ultimately by God, and if that's the case, He can't make it as apparent as the sun rising in the East. He has to preserve our right to choose for ourselves, to parse out the evidence individually.

So I guess this is me saying to Mormons mid-crisis, hold on. Hold on through the unanswered prayers. Hold on through frustrating search for answers. Hold on through the late-night conversations. Hold on. Because when the storm finally calms, you will have a better, richer, more fulfilling spiritual life.

I believe.

If you would like to deepen how you look at Mormonism and enrich your faith in a less "officially sanctioned" way, I heartily suggest Mormon Midrashim, and of course an excellent interview from NPR from none other than Doug Fabrizio himself with Terry Givens (where Doug was actually fantastically non-antagonizing).

If you want to know more about the fascinating doctrines of Mormons, like our belief that all of us can inherit heaven or that our souls have always existed--please feel free to message me. Or you could always check out our official website, or have an online chat with a real Mormon :)

Thursday, February 14

The Farm Dream

I have a lot of dreams, but my most realistic, realizable dream is to be a farmer. I really love plants and being outside. I love the idea of being able to hangout at home with my kids. I love the concept that all of the meat I eat came from an animal that was treated well while it was living. And, I especially love that I will have all of the super delicious, awesome food I want. It's a little bit about self-sufficiency, and a lot about resource stewardship and appreciating the miraculous, life-giving food we eat.


Tunis Sheep were raised by all of the cool Founding Fathers .
They have  oatmeal colored wool, but their heads (and babies) are red.



Like bread. It's $2.00. Two dollars, and it represents that wheat was sown, weeded, watered, harvested, cut, threshed, cleaned, and ground. It was mixed, leavened, punched down, risen, baked, sliced, and delivered to a place where you could pick it up with your other groceries. Crazy. That being said, I have no desire to grow wheat. Civilization evolved because all of the processes that grain takes to be tasty is really labor intensive. No thanks. But, that's my point. While I think it is entirely unnecessary to admire every slice of toast, I do think that occasionally you should think "Man, I am so blessed. Look at the bounty all around me, that is really ridiculously cheap when you think about all of the labor I've been saved." And I think growing food reminds you that tomatoes, and shredded cheese in a bag don't just spring into existence, ex nihilo. While many of our foods are factory farmed all of it eventually comes down to the vicissitudes of rainfall and sunshine. In the post-apocalyptic future where dust obscures the sun, we could still make three bajillion microchips, but we would sooner rather than later starve to death. 


I also think that we should thank our meat. I know most people don't like to think about the fact that something died in order for them to eat their Chicken Alfredo, but it did. And ignoring that fact doesn't make it disappear. A little gratitude and perspective is in order. Perhaps my body doesn't need to eat a former living thing every day. Thank you chicken for nourishing my body and for being so delicious while doing it.


And growing your own food means that you can select for taste and not shelf life. Which explains why until I was 15 I thought I hated raw tomatoes. Turns out I just hate the watery, tasteless, mealy, nasty tomatoes they sell at grocery stores and on fast food sandwiches. Also explains why anyone grows Red Delicious apples, because it is certainly not because they are actually delicious.


*Even if you don't care about animal living conditions, factory farms are bad for humans. The U.S. Department of Labor surveyed 51 poultry processing plants and found 100% had violated labor laws by not paying employees for all hours worked. Also, one-third took impermissible deductions from workers’ pay. ...and yeah, there's Food, Inc.  But unfortunately, the options for non-factory foods are often ridiculously overpriced. Sorry Whole Foods, but even small organic orchards don't need $12.00 for a quart of applesauce.  I don't need my groceries to show how intelligent, hip, and environmentally aware I am, so I don't really want to pay for all of that self-congratulation. So, I'll grow my own. 


My Future Farm Animals (maybe):



Man, bees are so cool  and fascinating. Like for instance
every cell in a male bee's body is haploid. They
are like highly mobile, multi-cellular gametes.
Weird.

Angora Rabbits...it's seriously amazing that
 evolution and artificial selection can produce
a creature that looks like it was invented by
5 year old or maybe Lisa Frank.  


Cayuga Ducks--Gorgeous color, huh?
Bourbon Red is apparently the tastiest Turkey
breed according to blind taste tests. Also heritage
turkeys dance as part of their mating ritual. Cool. 
Nubian baby doe--- oh my heck, the ears.
Nubian milk is especially good for cheese making
because it's super high in fat

Amerucana Chicken eggs--Unlike brown eggs,
blue eggs are blue throughout. Meaning
when you crack them open, the inner shell is also blue


Angora Goats--for whatever reason they remind me of Hobbits


Tuesday, February 12

11 Months--You've Got to be Kidding

Dinobaby loves the splashing
p.s. what an awesome--little mid-air water spheres
Dinobaby is 11 months... which really just means now I can tell people how old he is using normal people units. Weird. Almost a year. Dinobaby has grown so much this month.

I want it so bad



Language: Sometimes (infrequently) he says Mama. He is also pseudo signing More and all done, but mostly he says Whaa! and gestures with his hand towards what he wants. For the more linguistically inclined among you, Dinobaby can make the following phonemes: Ba, Da, Ma, Na, Guh, Ff, Ng, Thu, Vvvvvvv, a very gutteral Kah, Aaa, Ooo, uh, eh, and wah.

He very obviously comprehends more words than he can say/gesture, i.e. his name, Daddy, and look.

Yeah nesting rings!
Also, not sure where else to put this so I guess I'll put it here. Leopleuradon can also sing. It is really, really cute. Like he'll wake up in the middle of the night and sing to himself for a few minutes before falling asleep. They are only two-note phrases, but still awesome. For the music geeks, usually they're major third jumps back and forth, or every once in a while perfect fifth slides. He usually does this loudly at church during hymns ("oh, yeah, singing! I can do that! OooooooOooo!") or he'll do it quietly along with me when I sing to him at naptime. Oh man. Cuteness.

Gross Motor: Hand-eye coordination is here with a vengeance. Or at least a desire to be coordinated anyway. Dinobaby loves to put things in and out of bigger things. Egg and cup, nesting rings, socks out of the laundry basket, legos in their tray, and you know, a pot lid in a skillet.... He also loves to clap.



He's also getting much better on his feet. He can stand independently for almost a minute if he's concentrating. He also walks much faster holding our hands than he did before, and every once in a while he'll venture a step when he's only holding on with one hand. He pulls up and walks on his tip-toes to explore the edge of the desk.

Fine Motor: Dinobaby has been on a big book reading, page turning kick. He's getting really good at separating the pages and lifting flaps--using the inferior pincer grasp (side of index finger instead of the pad). He points with his index finger at different things in the book and grunts  random syllables so he is starting to isolation movement in each finger. At naptime he often plays with his hands, flapping his fingers shut over his palm. And, he can sort of roll a toy car across the floor, showing wrist control. So pretty fabulous fine motor skills

He looks so old here--plus look, visible hair!
Sleep: Oh my lucky stars! Dinobaby is almost sleeping through the night. He now goes to sleep around 6:30-7pm and only wakes up once, no dreamfeed or nothing, sometime between 4:30 to 6:30, and wakes up really at 7-7:30. It's awesome! I've also stopped fighting the naps, and now I just take Dinobaby's morning nap with him (sacrifices must be made *wink*) and lie down with him in the afternoon and write letters or work on writing projects from the bed.

Hello, I'm adorable.
Miscellany: Dinobaby really loves marshmallows-which essentially ruins him for real food for the rest of the day. He's not going to see another marshmallow for a long time. It is impressive how willful he became over them. He's going to be one awesomely driven toddler. P.S. anyone know how to start teaching social graces like please and thank you and not completely freaking out while waiting for dinner to get cut up? Right now the fake-cry whining is kinda cute, but I have no idea how to prevent it from becoming super obnoxious toddler crocodile tears I also don't want to be unrealistic though, he is a pre-verbal baby.


Friday, February 8

Cloth Diapers: Part 2, What Kind?

There are million kinds of cloth diaper. And you can spend a ton of money. This post is going to be extremely opinionated, but this is what I wish I read when I was spending way too much time reading reviews and picking out diapers.

Left section Clockwise starting with the yellow one: Kawaii snaps, Kawaii velcro,  Tots Bots (teal),  Itti Bitti (red stars), Bum Genius (equations), Thirsties Duo Diaper (trees)
Center Top-Down: Prefolds, Kissaluvs fitted (lime green diaper), Microfiber inserts
Right: 6 Flats in cute prints, Econobum cover (white with blue trim), Thirsties Duo Wrap covers (orange and blue)


Honestly, my favorite diapers are the cheapest ones. I love flats. You can fold them up and pin them on like a Fort Knox for newborn blowouts, or you can fold them haphazardly in thirds-ish and slap them in a cover. Since they are one sheet of cloth you can be 100% sure they aren't hiding anything nasty.  You can wash them in whatever detergent you have on hand. They dry in 20 minutes. They have the smallest profile of all cloth diapers. They have a very practical post-baby life as cleaning rags. They are so cheap you can afford to have a million of them and only do laundry when it's convenient. Heck, you could even use some of the three gajillion receiving blankets you received as flats and not buy any at all.

Prefolds are similarly cheap and versatile. However, they also have all of the drawbacks of all-in-one diaper/covers except the high price tag: they take forever to dry, you have to buy special no-additive, no-brightener detergent, they can build up ammonia in the layers and cause rashes. Plus, they still need covers. AND, they give your baby the hugest badonkadonk ever. Seriously. All cloth diapers are much fluffier around the bum than disposables but prefolds are like a whole league of their own. Really they should call them Sir Mixalot Diapers. And when you line dry them they are essential little shingles. Nope, I'd pass on the prefolds.

All-in-Ones, by which I mean diapers that have a waterproof cover already attached (not just the ones known as All-in-ones in cloth lingo). There are a million different kinds. Ones that you stuff with soakers, ones with tongues that flip out in the wash, ones with flaps that you fold down the center, and ones that are just like disposable diapers  except you wash them--you just velcro those suckers on as is. (This last variety is actually called All-in-Ones in cloth diaper stores, fyi). Warning, they all have stupid names. It's usually a combination of a word for butt and a "cute" adjective, i.e. FuzzyBunz, Rumparooz, Bum Genius are all real brands.

 It's nice to have a couple of these on hand for days  when your baby is especially squirmy or your running errands, etc.However they are not worth it to use all of the time in my opinion. They have all of the drawbacks listed above plus they are super expensive. If you're going to buy some of these just go straight for the real-deal All-in-Ones, and steer clear of "pocket diapers" which I hate because you've got to pull out the wet soakers before you can toss it in the laundry. *eww* Here's a brief review of the brands I've tried.


  • Kawaii ---a chinese brand which is super cheap, but they are also ridiculously wide. Like humorously wide, a baby horse doesn't even have that much space between its legs. 


  •  Thirsties AIO- Super easy, nice fit, but runs small (they've got two sizes and the large size fit Dinobaby okay at 6 months). Also, takes three lifetimes to line-dry 


  • Thirsties Duo Diaper-- Nice enough. Same company as above so the same problem, Dinobaby outgrew the size 1's by 8 months.


  • Tots Bots--I love these. Unfortunately they're also the most expensive cloth diaper I've ever seen. 


  • Itti Bitti D'lish-- (I told you cloth diapers had stupid names) Complete waste of money. 1) they run super tiny so they only fit Dinobaby for a week, I'm not kidding. 2. They leaked. I've never had a cloth diaper leak other than this one (well, unless I did something stupid, like didn't have the waterproof cover covering the whole diaper) 3. The snaps were particularly hard to close. BUT, the super fuzzy, stars print was really adorable. 


  • Bum Genius Freetime--pretty good. The flaps make it dry faster but also make it harder to put on super willful, mobile babies. The science equations print though, is really what makes me love this diaper. 

             Note: Although some people may try to convince you that sized diapers fit better, it's not really appreciable. Just buy the one-size 10lbs to potty training diapers.

Covers: If you go the flats route (which I strongly suggest you do), you'll need waterproof covers. Please don't put your baby in rubber pants. I like the one-size kind (see note above) with velcro. Snaps may last longer, but it's not worth it to try to wrangle around a mobile infant only to realize you put it on the wrong snap and the covers not on tight enough. I really like Flip brand. I'd pass on Econobum even though they're cheaper. It does the job, but feels much flimsier and doesn't fit as nice or go on as easily. Thirsties also has nice covers but they don't have a real one-size cover so you'll have to buy two different covers instead of one of the Flip kind.

Hybrids: These are cloth diapers with disposable liners. Seems like the best of both worlds, except for it's completely not. Don't do this. Mostly because each insert is at least 40 cents making it the most expensive disposable ever.

You can buy diapers on Amazon, Cotton Babies (free shipping), Kelly's Closet (which gave me both Kawaii diapers for free), and Diaper Junction

Wednesday, February 6

Cloth Diapers: Part 1

I know you're thinking, "Whoa there. Part 1?...They're diapers. How much is there to say?" And yeah, you're kinda right. But you're also way wrong. Although, I am kinda flabbergasted that multiple blogs exist that can somehow dream of new material regularly.

Cloth diapers are awesome. Really. You should try them if you own your own washing machine, and maybe even if you don't, depending on how expensive the laundromat is. I see disposable diapers like paper plates. There's a time for paper plates--in times of extraordinary busy-ness, sickness, or travel. I have no problem using paper plates every so often, but using paper plates everyday is wasteful. They're also not as nice as real plates. Likewise, disposable diapers make a lot of trash--like 7.58 billion pounds a year. And, in my own experience the few times Dinobaby has gotten diaper rashes, he got them during periods when he was wearing disposables exclusively. Also, I think he likes the cloth diapers better. I say that because no woman has ever worn pads when she didn't have to because she preferred how they felt. I assume the difference between a disposable and cloth is similar.

Even if you couldn't ever use cloth full-time, maybe just on the weekends or a use a couple of cloth diapers instead of disposables every day. It adds up. Small changes can really make a difference. And they are so much easier than you think they are.

Here's the run-down of answers to the questions I hear most often:

1) Aren't you scared you'll prick your baby?
       You don't have to use pins. I used a thing called a Snappi to secure diapers when blowouts were still likely, but now I don't even do that anymore.

2)What do you do with the poops?
        I exclusively breastfed for the first 6ish months, so all dirty diapers regardless of what variety just got thrown in the washing machine--yay for the polarity of water molecules! Since I waited so long to start solids, once I had to worry about what to do with poops they were quite easily ploppable into the toilet. Even when dinobaby is using disposables, I still flush poop. I don't throw poop in the trash. One, that's ridiculously smelly. Two, that's not a wise long-term choice for our landfills (and technically illegal almost everywhere). So for me the difference between disposable and cloth is negligible.
        Since I've started trying to get dinobaby to a pottty when I know he's having a BM, I can tell you that cleaning diapers is twice as easy and  less gross than cleaning potties--which all parents have to deal with anyway.

3)How often do you have to do laundry?
      I do diaper laundry every 3-4 days.

4)How do you wash them?
      I do a cold rinse to rid the diapers of urine and whatever residue is left. Then I do an extra hot, extra long wash with soap. I usually line dry, and when it's nice outside I line dry in full-sun. So, at least pseudo-frequently my diapers get UV autoclaved. Other than the heat from the wash and sun-bleaching, I don't worry about germs. I figure most parents wash a couple of diapers worth of poop just from having a newborn wearing clothing. Generations of babies have survived being cloth diapered, most with nappies washed by hand (so glad I live in the 21st century), so I'm not that worried about it. *shrugs*

5)Don't you ever use disposables?
     Yes, I use disposables. Dinobaby still doesn't sleep through the night. I don't want to change him after his 2 and/or 5am feeding because both he and I want to return to sleeping. Unfortunately, no cloth diaper can hold that much pee. So Dinobaby sleeps in a disposable for now. Hopefully, he starts to sleep through the night soon for many reasons---way down on that list is that that would mean we could use cloth at night. I also use disposables when other people are watching my baby, or I'm traveling. Like when we drove across eight states to our new home, I definitely did not haul along my cloth diapers.

6)The cloth diapers I've seen are so expensive. Do they really save you money?
      Holy crap you're right.  Some cloth diapers are stupidly expensive. I've seen figures thrown around about savings, but I don't particularly like any of them because they all make really bad assumptions--like who spends 24 cents per disposable diaper?!? Who buys a $28 dollar bum cover? So I've been collecting my own data (like I've tallied every cloth diaper I've ever changed...I'm a nerd) and I'll get back to this question later more definitively. In the meantime, suffice it to say that I have spent $226.46 on cloth diapers, and so far they've saved us almost $90--but you could easily save much more over the course of 10 months than we have. For one thing, we had coin-operated laundry for four months. I have also traveled quite a bit in Dinobaby's short life.  I also very much regret spending so much in the initial outlay because I ended up like the cheapest diapers best, but I'll get into that in Part 2.



Tuesday, January 29

I Want to be a Homemaker

Moms are awesome. All kinds of moms. Love your kids more than you love sleeping? Yep, you're awesome.
Young Housewife by Alexey Tyranov--
Oh, that we could all rock a lady turban.

Okay. I want to be a stay at home mom. I'm not harshing on whatever kind of mom you want to be. I'm not going to say that I know better than you do about what you and God feel is right for your life --because that is crazy.  I'm just supportive of staying home when it works for you. And, being a stay-at-home, although I know that there are millions of women like me, I still feel a little...defensive about it. So there you go, no matter what kind of mom you are, you think--at least some of the time--that other people are judging you and finding your choices wanting. 

I am not a 1950's housewife. If anything I'm a 1750's housewife...or at least I'm working towards it. Let me give you a history lesson about "traditional" female responsibilities. Women were expected to feed their families. Men paid the rent, taxes, tuition, and sundry supply bills--whatever they needed cash for. Men farmed market crops, but women tended the family garden and animals. Women grew the carrots and celery, tended and butchered the chickens, hauled the water, and cooked the soup it all went in. They were expected to teach the basics of reading and math to their children, young boys and girls (because good Puritans believed that women should be able to read the bible for themselves).  They knew and prepared herbal remedies (of questionable potency, but it was almost the best medical knowledge available at the time) to combat the zillion ailments that attacked their children. Women of any kind of status were extremely well read in the classics--like knew on sight who people like Lysander, Calliope, Hygeia, etc. were and made allusions to them in their day-to-day lives (well, their letters anyway).  

So please, let's stop talking about how "limited" the traditional women's sphere is. I mean really let's keep reading past verse 10 please when someone brings up Proverbs 31: "An excellent wife her price is far above rubies... she works with eager handsShe considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously;   her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."

The combination of 1950's consumerism and pedantic feminists (the bad kind) have eroded the awesome that is real homemaking-- describing a completely fabricated "traditional" woman.  Staying at home can be so much more than providing daycare. It's not being harried by small children during the day and then self-medicating on romance novels at night. Staying home can change the world. Really. Not in the "neck that turns the head" kind of change the world. I'm not saying that I'll raise the kind of boy that will change the world *eye roll*. I'm saying that a million women who take time to mend instead of toss, to make your own home and happiness instead of purchasing someone else's marketing genius, and to read deeply and teach their kids in the everyday moments of life--to be informed for your own self. And a million other tiny habits that staying home to make a home affords--that can change the world. 
Abigail Adams was a boss.

Because this isn't 1750. We are just as capable but we've got the vote. We have college degrees. We've got microwaves. Seriously, think about what Abigail Adams could've done with a microwave and an oven that preheats itself.  

She would change the world. 

Monday, January 28

New Moms, It's okay. I know you don't know.


Maybe not for everyone but at least for me, being a mom is constantly feeling like saying "I don't know what I'm doing." It's feeling a bit like an actor. It's improv-ing your way through your day. Did I need to cut those peas in half? Does he need a sweater? Wait, is he hot? Crap, he's not wearing socks. 

When I walk around the grocery store and people smile at my baby I still feel awkward. Sometimes I'm thinking, "I know. I look like I know what I'm doing loading up graham crackers in my cart, but you have no idea. I can't get my baby to nap for more than 20 minutes on his own." Which is odd, because who said that how your baby sleeps is a defining characteristic of how good a parent you are? Oh right, Healthy Sleep Habits did. Like somehow you failing to have your baby always sleep in the crib by himself is the same as handing him a knife and putting on a blindfold. (I know everyone loves that book. And yes, it did help me figure out when a good bedtime was and some other good tips. But it also seeded my head with bone-crushing doubt about what my baby should be and definitely wasn't. ) I don't know why my baby's napping (but not night-time sleeping) body knows that I've left his side and immediately wakes up. Maybe I held him too much when he was new. But that's exactly what I'm talking about: New moms have no idea what we're doing.  And yeah, I held my baby all the time for the first four months. Like the majority of the day. And I actually think that's okay.

When it comes down to it, I think I'm a good mom. I love the snot out of my baby. I try not to get too hung up on what's not working so that I actually enjoy him. And I read a lot. I read stupid parenting community forums and PubMed papers on food allergies. I follow Montessori in the home blogs, and ask my pediatrician an obnoxious amount of questions. I desperately want to be good at this, but no one know exactly what that looks like. I'm seat of my pantsing my way through this and really, I think that is perfectly alright. And as time passes, my baby is just getting awesomer, so I'm obviously not doing anything too detrimental. 

So now that I've put the horse in front of the cart. The first three weeks after getting home from the hospital: 

They were terrifying. I was scared to give dinobaby a bath. I had no idea when he was hungry. I was so hyper-aware of his breathing that I had to move him out of my room in order to sleep.  I was magically just shy of 3 lbs skinnier than my full-term pregnant self, and definitely still rocked the maternity clothes for...a while... after I was most assuredly post-partum.  

So if I could give any pregnant lady some advice it would be this:
  • Having your mom live with you for the first few weeks will save your life.  
    • Because your baby will cry inconsolably sometime and either A) her Grandma Magic will calm the hysterical infant or B)she won't be able to make him stop crying but she will be able to pronounce with reassuring expertise that you are not killing your baby. 
  • No baby, regardless of how new needs to eat every 40 minutes
    • It's probably closer to 2 hours. So if he's still crying it's something else. I'm going to vote for tired because babies sleep way more than you think should be possible....Like 3 hours of being awake is like pulling an all-nighter for your baby. 
    • Also, you are 100% validated by me, Dinolady, for refusing to be a pacifier. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you a good mom, because when your baby actually needs milk from you, you won't be so sharp-aching-pain sore that you can't feed him. 
  • Do the minimum requirement for sleep
    • I'm not going to prescribe to you what that is because your baby is different than every baby that has ever been born. I'm just suggesting that your baby probably doesn't need to sleep on your lap...at least not every night. So don't just assume because he needed it the night before that he'll need it again. Just put him in the crib and cross your fingers. 
  • Your baby went through some really impressive physical stuff to be born, so you're not gonna hurt him when you change his clothes
    • Same goes for burping. You're not accomplishing anything by wafting at your baby's back. You've got to thump those bubbles out, friend
  • You are super awesome and capable. 
    • Seriously. You're body is making stuff to feed your baby. And your body made that baby. Literally every calorie that small body has ever used has come from you. So you are already really awesome. Even though you feel like you were significantly more attractive during those awkward middle school years than you do now. You are amazing. Your body is AMAZING. And you'll figure it out. There are no good guides to baby-rearing because your baby is also amazing and uniquely so. So maybe your baby only wants one arm swaddled but not the other. Maybe he likes the jiggle-bounce, but not the bounce-jiggle. 
    • Just keep your head above water, and it really does get better. Your baby will figure out how to eat food with out spitting it up all over you and how sleep on his own. And then one day you'll be holding him on your lap and he will all out hug your arm in an unsolicited show of pre-verbal affection, and smile at you with adoring eyes. You're doing just fine. 
And expectant dads:
  • No woman ever needs to be woken up because the baby is crying
    • She has bionic hearing. She could hear the baby crying from Argentina. But she hasn't gotten up because she's saying a blasphemous prayer to your baby in her head. It goes something like this "Please just fall back asleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. You're not hungry. Please. " So Awesome Dad, I want you to get out of bed. Pick up hysterical baby that still makes you mildly uncomfortable to hold because he's so tiny and you don't want to hurt him. Flail your arm around in the bassinet until you bump into the  pacifier and put it in the crying opening. Then do the jiggle dance and "shush" like you're trying to lift-off. (Literally, shush as loudly as possible). Give it five minutes.  You can do it. If the baby is still freaking out, hand him lovingly to your wife to feed and kiss her on the forehead. But your wife has probably already gotten out of bed at that point anyway.
    • I know you're thinking that what difference does it make if the baby is hungry and there's nothing you can do. But, the baby isn't always hungry. And your wife will love it. 
  • You are super awesome and capable. 
    • Did you know that your masculine body chemistry changes the more time you spend with a baby? Your hormones are colluding to make you into a better caregiver. So don't stress. You'll get better at it, and you're already better than you think you are. 

At what age, or ever, did you feel like you knew what you were doing with your kids? Anything you wish you knew before you had kids? 

What scares you most about having a baby? 

Tuesday, January 22

10 Months

Still cute

Double digits, Wow!

Fine Motor: Every baby has their own growth curves--some speak before others, etc. But Holy cow, Leopleuradon is super good at the small hand motions. He now feeds himself 70% of the time and can handily manage slippery banana chunks, tiny wet kernels of corn, and odd shaped spiruli pasta pieces.

 He can separate lego blocks, and remove a dowel from a tube as well as a wooden egg from a cup. He tries but can't get the blocks together or put the pieces back in to their slots yet. He also gets a kick out of pushing and pulling doors open. Since we live in an old, not-level house, all of the doors hang slightly ajar at the bottom. Leo is impressively good at pulling on the exposed milimeter of door to swing the door out. He also palms things now, which is really cute.

He is often very cat-like in how be plays. He swats at everything, laundry I'm folding, lampshades, toilet paper rolls. Here's a video of the last one. Yep, I know. So stinkin' cute!




Gross Motor: Dinobaby crawls like an ace. However, he also crawls super weirdly. He keeps both feet off of the floor somehow and shakes his booty as he books it across the room. He also creeps/cruises along the sofa, along the wall, from the top of the side-table to a set of drawers. Pretty awesome. He stands for almost 30 seconds unsupported but only when he's distracted. He immediately squats when he realizes he's not holding on to anything. He's also learning how to fall, and is more or less successful.

Standing still at the playground has never been more fascinating 

Language: Leo can sign "more" and "all done" but not consistently. He talks to himself now (cute) and sings (super cute). Albeit, "singing" is probably just really high pitched cooing but whatever.  He also makes happy growls in the morning when we've put him bed with us after he wakes up trying to get us to open our eyes and play with him. Here's Leo talking to himself as he plays with an empty salt shaker.


Oh, I forgot to mention--there are FOUR TEETH coming in on top, so yeah, he's super drool-y. 


Food: Man, the kid really likes food. And he eats almost everything now. Oh, right, and he can drink from his own glass now! However, that also means you have to change his shirt when he's done, so I usually help him still.  So yeah, video #3--Dinobaby drinking all on his own



Size: Just in case y'all are curious he's 58% in height and 74% in weight. He wears 12 month clothes.

Although I wrote many of the posts I said I would last month, I didn't get to all of them. So I shall refrain from promises of posts this time around.

And, I'm sorry this is a little past due, but hey there was the last Wheel of Time book to read. ;)

Saturday, January 5

The Why of No TV

So I've been hesitating to post this...First off, let me say that I'm not into mom-shaming. Just love your kids and try your absolute hardest to ensure that they know that you love them. That's it. Statistically, that's the most influential and important aspect of mothering. Congratulations! that should more or less come naturally if your mother was an involved parent. And, it will come more or less naturally to your children as a result of your excellent mothering as well. You are awesome, and you're doing better at this mom-thing than you think you are.  Also bear in mind that most of these studies on television are in unfortunately "average", not so stellar homes where the television isn't usually turned to Sesame Street, but Cops or CSI: whatever, all day every day. 



Okay, so I'm a nerd, and I'd also like to think I treat this mom gig as a profession, so here's the data on television:
  • A typical child in the U.S. watches 28 hours of TV weekly, seeing as many as 8,000 murders by the time he or she finishes elementary school at age 11, and worse, the killers are depicted as getting away with the murders 75% of the time while showing no remorse or accountability. (American Psychological Association, February 19, 2004)
  • The average US child is exposed to 232.2 minutes of background television in a typical day. ("Background Television" published in Pediatrics) --Background television has been correlated to decreases in the amount of time a child spends exploring and engaging with environment, and the length of time a child focuses on a single task, i.e. the development of an attention span. 
  • By Age 4, each hour of television watched daily correlates to a 9 percent leap in bullying behavior when they reach school. ( Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina, page 146)
  • Children do not obtain Moral Realism until age 8. Meaning that while children understand prosocial behavior (being nice to your neighbor, not inflicting harm, sharing so that others will share with you....forgive the comparison, but essentially children are socially on par with dogs or apes, if not ever-so-slightly more ethical).  But they don't really get beyond black-and-white decision making, and being good in difficult situations solely because they fear punishment until they are older. (see Developmentally Appropriate Practices by Carol Gestwicki, pg 295)
So seeing situations where the bad guy gets away with it before age 8 is bad news bob for a child's behavior. And comedic violence is also especially negative for young children, even the goofy Three Stooges or Tom and Jerry type, because for small kids consequences are still being established. Showing someone get hit by a hammer and not suffer lasting harm means that they're learning that a hammer doesn't really hurt. And kids are hardwired to model what they see; viewing violence makes kids more violent (e.g. the famous Bobo Doll Experiment). 
Not good. 

Kid beating the snot out of Bobo

And that's not even addressing the racial, gender, class, and body type skewing of the people portrayed on television. 

Beyond the outright negatives, mostly TV takes away time for better things. Sesame Street was designed for low income, at-risk kids and it works. Kids actually pick up reading and math skills from watching. Mr. Roger's Neighborhood has been shown to help high-stress kids manage the negative aspects of their home life. ...but it's not anywhere as good as having someone respond to you, to talk about your feelings face-to-face, to point out the mouse on every page of Good Night Moon, to count the number of carrots on the plate. Educational TV is fine, but hands-on exploring is better. 

Children develop so miraculously fast. And they develop best when all of that growth is inter-related. Montessori said something along the lines of "if you want to give it to the mind, you must first give it to the hand." Babies use their bodies to learn--to feel, to taste, to bang. Education that lets babies explore objects and concepts with their fingers (and usually mouths) is absorbed more readily and naturally. I also think society is getting a little too virtual--and I want to stress to my son that that's not what I value. I value my real life: the remarkable creatures that live around our house, the beautiful trees, our home, our friends, our family.(Here's a pretty cool sermon on seeing "things as they really are" in the digital age-- if you feel so inclined.)

So...I don't own a television.And while I'm not prefect at it, I try to more or less abide by the rule that when Dinobaby is awake the computer screen is off. But, not always. Sometimes we watch some pretty sweet music videos on youtube--I just try to keep the flashing and cut-scenes to a minimum. 

I also have a husband with a flexible schedule, so I don't need the TV to take a shower or a nap when I need it. Heaven knows the TV is a blessing for a Momma at the end of her rope. So no judgments here. Do what you have to do to keep sane, and keep your patience. I'm just explaining my rationale for setting my "No TV until Two" goal. Have a great day y'all.